The 'Lemme Outta Here' Barrel and Other Tales
by VilyaSage
Summary: PART THREE! I cannot believe i wrote a part three. Anyway. The adepts experience the almighty cushion of whoopee. Nuff said. R&R!~Norli
1. The Little 'Lemme Outta Here' Barrel

The Little 'Lemme Outta Here' Barrel

Fic written by Norli, with help from remainder of company

Norli: oh yay! My first ficcy! Humor humor humor, all I do is humor!

Kaede: WE GET THE PICTURE! WRITE THE FICCY!

Norli: oh, yeah.

Disclaimer: I (Norli) own…well, actually nothing. Vil owns the little barrel guy that shakes and goes "Excuse me, excuse me, lemme outta here!!" when you pass your hand in front of the light sensor thing. And I do not own Golden Sun. 

Summary: The gang finds the little lemme outta here barrel. Nuff said.

*~*

"Ivan, stop that! You're going to run into something!" Isaac warned, watching Ivan race around at what looked like the speed of light.

"I am not! I do this all the time--*whack*…ow…" Ivan slumped against the object he'd just run into. 

"Brick wall or big tree, Ivan?" Mia asked from a little distance away.

"Looks like a statue, actually."

"Don't tell me…"

"No, it's ok, I didn't break the statue…I think."

"You guys are sad," Garet said, coming out from inside. The four of them were just outside the Inn in Bilibin. 

"No, Ivan's just clumsy," Mia said, scowling. "Not that he minds."

"You're right, I don't mind."

"Well, _I_ mind!"

"Why should _you_ mind? _You're_ not the one who's constantly running into big, hard-to-move objects."

"I'm not the one with the Wind Psynergy, either."

"Point to Mia," Garet said, and the Djinni on his shoulder laughed.

"Guys, look at this!" Isaac called from inside, where he had disappeared to unnoticed some few seconds earlier. "This is _so_ cool!"

"What is?" Garet asked as they joined Isaac in their room. 

"This," he said, motioning toward a table.

Sitting on the table was what looked like a little barrel. But it seemed a hole was cut out of the barrel so a little blue eye could look out. Directly below the eye was a small black circle.

"Oooo-kay…it's a barrel…Isaac, you've been hanging around Garet too long," Ivan said.

"No, watch," Isaac insisted, and he passes his hand in front of the eye. Almost like 'magic,' the barrel let out a shrill cry.

"Excuse me, excuse me, LEMME OUTTA HERE!!"__

"GAH! What _was_ that?!" Garet asked, backing away from the barrel. The change in light activated the motion sensor again, and again the barrel yelled.

**"Excuse me, excuse me, LEMME OUTTA HERE!!"**

"Get it away!"

"Don't touch it!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh--*smack*…ow…"

"This is _so cool_!!"

**"Excuse me, excuse me, LEMME OUTTA HERE!!"**

"Hide it!"

"Throw it out the window!"

"Blow it up!…ow…"

"No way! I'm keeping it!"

"You're insane!"

"Took you long enough Garet."

"Aw shuddup Mia." 

"Watch your mouth! See who heals _you_ the next time you have to fight Saturos!"

"Isaac will!"

**"Excuse me, excuse me, LEMME OUTTA HERE!!"**

"No he won't! He'll be too busy playing with that thing!"  
"Didn't ask for your opinion, Ivan."

"Didn't need to, Garet."

Suddenly there was a sound like wood splintering, and the barrel on the table dissolved into a pile of sawdust.

Standing on top of the pile was a little blue eye with stick-figure arms and stick-figure legs. It glared at all of them

**"IF YOU WONT LEMME OUT THEN I'LL GET OUT MYSELF!!"** it hollered, and jumped out the window, landing on that gold statue in the middle of town. **"Ow."**

THE END 

*~*

Norli: insanity doesn't reign around here. It pours.

Kaede: Enough puns.

Norli: but I'm having _pun_, Kae!

Kaede: Do I look as though I care?

Norli: well, not really…

Kaede: exactly. Now follow the arrow—

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	2. The Can That Looks Like It Has Jelly Bea...

That Can That Looks Like It Has Jelly Beans In It But Really Has Pop-out Snakes In It

By: Norli, with help from phone-a-friend Kaede. 

Disclaimer: I own THE TITLE! And one of those cans. The classic April-fools can. 

A/N: Alex asked for more on the 'Little Barrel Guy' ficcy, and I can't just ignore that! So I tried to come up with something that my insane adepts would find amusing. So now Ivan's found the April fool's can. Appearances by Saturos and Menardi! This time, I'm writing script-style—less confusion.

*Ivan walks into his room in Hammet's Palace in Kalay*

IVAN: What's this? *picks up can* Cool! Jelly beans! *opens can*

*Snakes pop out*

IVAN: YYYAAAAAHHHH! *runs about screaming for a moment, then realizes snakes are made of fabric* right. This is COOL! I bet I can scare Garet with it!

*Ivan goes out into town to find Garet* 

((Kaede: OUT INto?

Norli: bear with me! It's MY ficcy, after all.

Kaede: Dios mio, this will never end))

IVAN: Hello Garet!

GARET: Stay AWAY from my hair!

IVAN: I don't want to born your hair anymore. You did good enough with that yourself.

GARET: I didn't do that! Saturos did that!

SATUROS: I did not! It was Menardi!

GARET AND IVAN: AAAAAHHHHH! SATUROS!!!

SATUROS: AAAAAAHHHHH! MEEEEEE!

IVAN: *evil smirk* Hey, Saturos, want some jellybeans?

GARET: Ivan, are you crazy? *thinks about it* Never mind.

SATUROS: Jellybeans?! HOT DOG!

IVAN: No, not a hot dog. I don't have a hot dog. Garet might though, with the way he sets things spontaneously on fire.

SATUROS: JUST HAND OVER THE BEANS!

IVAN: If you say so. *hands Saturos the can*

*Saturos opens the can, the snakes pop out, and his eyes get VERY big*

SATUROS: AAAAAAAHHHHH! SNAKES!! I can't stand snakes! They give me nightmares! *runs off towards the Karagol, screaming 'MOMMY!'*

GARET: Saturos has a Mommy?

IVAN: *shrugs* Beats me. *stuffs snakes back into can* Bet we can scare Mia with this.

GARET: Oh yeah! I've been dying to get her back for whacking me with her staff back when we first met her in Imil! ((this pertains to a story by Feonyx, called Golden Sun Redux, which is hilarity at its finest. Just so you know))

*Ivan and Garet find Mia by the Karagol*

MIA: Saturos just ran by screaming 'MOMMY' and acting like a maniac.

GARET: yeah, he had this odd reaction to Ivan's jellybeans. 

MIA: Jellybeans? How unhealthy!

IVAN: But these are special, uh, junk-free jellybeans!!

MIA: Well, if you say so…*takes can, opens it, and shrieks*

GARET: *covers his ears* That is NOT a normal human sound!

IVAN: Yeah but it was FUNNY! *shoves snakes back into can* Let's go scare Isaac now!

MIA: Isaac's not afraid of snakes.

GARET: How do YOU know what he's afraid of?

MIA: He's afraid of ME, is why.

*They go to find Isaac anyway*

*Isaac is sitting on a rock…just sitting on a rock*

IVAN: Hello Isaac!

ISAAC: Hiya Ivan! *sees Mia* AAAAAHHHH! GET HER AWAY!!!

MIA: I told you so, Garet.

IVAN: Isaac, do you want some jellybeans?

ISAAC: Do they taste good?

GARET: They're CANDY, Isaac. Sugar.

ISAAC: SUGAR! HOT DOG!

IVAN: I DO NOT HAVE A HOT DOG!! 

*Isaac takes can, opens it, you get the idea*

*Ivan just finishes shoving snakes back into can and closing the lid when Menardi shows up, dragging Saturos by an ear*

MENARDI: See, there are NO SNAKES.

SATUROS: I SAW them! I swear I did! They tried to pretend they were jellybeans!

ISAAC: My friends were pretending to be jellybeans?

GARET: no, we were pretending the snakes were jellybeans.

MENARDI: Snakes! HOT DOG!

IVAN: for the last time, I DO **NOT** HAVE A HOT DOG!

*Menardi opens the can*

*nothing happens*

MENARDI: MOMMY!! *runs away screaming, Saturos way ahead of her*

*Four adepts look into can, turn pale, Ivan drops can, and they all run*

ALL ADEPTS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*as can hits ground, jellybeans spill out*

************

Norli: hope you guys liked that. I thought it was…perfectly fine for it being midnight, which means it feels like one in the morning cause of the time switch and everything.

Kaede: Follow the magic arrow!

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	3. The Whoopee Cushion

The Whoopee Cushion. Nuff Said.

Also known as

The 'Lemme Outta Here Barrel' and Other Tales part Three of Who-Knows-How-Many.

By Norli

A/N: flint the hyperactive…something…said whoopee cushion. And yes, my pooter tells me that this is the correct spelling of 'whoopee'. Scary, ain't it? Again, things are written like it was a script.

Tolbi 

*Garet walks into the Inn and sits down to eat*

GARET: Man, I'm starving!

MIA: Garet, you ate three sandwiches and a bowl of soup already.

GARET: But that was a long time ago.

MIA: It was _fifteen minutes ago_, Garet.

GARET: I want some jellybeans! Or maybe a hot dog! Or marshmallows!

IVAN: Garet, you _are_ a marshmallow.

GARET: Am not.

IVAN: Are too.

GARET: Am _not_!

IVAN: Are _too_!

GARET: _AM NOT_!

IVAN: _ARE TOO_!!!

MIA: _BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET OR I WILL FREEZE YOU TO YOUR CHAIRS_!!!

IVAN and GARET: *meekly* yes ma'am.

*Isaac comes in and sits in the last remaining chair*

CHAIR: ttttthhhhhhrrrrrrrppppppffffff

GARET: Eeeewwww! Isaac!

ISAAC: It wasn't me!

*Isaac stands and sees that he sat on some kind of balloon looking thing*

*Mia cackles evilly*

MIA: WHOOPEE!

THE BOYS: o.0*

MIA: It's a whoopee cushion. Babi gave it to me.

GARET: _Babi_ gave you this implement of torture?! Doesn't he know who you _are_?!?! 

MIA: I am the bane of your existence.

*Bane (the Djinni) appears*

BANE: Someone say my name?

ISAAC: Hey! You aren't supposed to show up until Crossbone Island!

BANE: Do I look like I care? *jumps onto the whoopee cushion*

WHOOPEE: _ttttthhhhhhrrrrrrrppppppffffff_.

BANE: YAH!

*Adepts laugh*

*Little eyeball man from the barrel walks in*

ISAAC: Barrel dude! *chases eyeball around, trying to stuff him in barrel*

BANE: and I have to be partners with the boy? 

IVAN: Looks like it.

*Eyeball dude lands on whoopee*

WHOOPEE: TTTTTHHHHHHRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFF!!!!!

EVERYONE: *laugh hysterically* Eyeball dude!

EYEBALL DUDE: WHOOPEE! *runs from Inn, Isaac chasing him and waving a barrel menacingly.*

*Other Adepts chase Isaac and eyeball*

*Garet trips and falls*

GARET'S GENERAL DIRECTION: FFFFFFFFPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTHHHHHH!!

IVAN: Garet, you brought the whoopee cushion with you?

GARET: *grins wide* Nope.

*~*

Norli: and so it ends again. Any ideas, you guys, for the next humorous object I should do? Magic arrow time!

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